Good morning world!
If you haven’t already gathered, today I’m going to be talking about fitness. I imagine that there is an enormous spectrum of feelings that people associate with this word. My thoughts? Well… it varies from day to day and I’m wondering if anyone else can relate.
Before I go on with my endless breathless (ha, ironic) rant I want to say I’m not here to moan about people who have fitness accounts or love exercise because trust me, you’re awesome and admirable! But if you’re not into exercise or fitness, mate I GET you. Not being a fan of fitness makes you no less of a person, and sometimes we’re made to feel like we’re lazy and not worthy of a platform but our bodies are worthy of appreciation whether we work out or not.
I am in no way a fitness expert, not even close. I won’t step foot in a gym and I eat whatever I want because it’s a part of my life I really enjoy! I may promote self love and self belief in my blog, but I want to make one point: I have not achieved this yet. I’m not talking to you guys like I’m some guru who loves herself and has no worries. I’m working on it and this blog is part of my journey (and it’s definitely helping!). I won’t go the the gym because I’m self conscious and I don’t really have enough time in the day as I currently work my arse off in two jobs… that’s a whole other blog though! I feel like everyone else knows what they’re doing and can workout and reach goals effortlessly – but deep down in me somewhere I know it’s not true and it’s just how Instagram distorts my perception (transformation posts, etc.).
I try to go running at least once a week, do yoga once a week, and weights whenever I feel like it and when it goes right I FEEL AMAZING. Like an absolute goddess. If I work out when I’m not feeling it though… hell. I hate it. I hate myself. I get grumpy with my boyfriend/everyone. I’m horrible. “Why can’t I do this?” “I’m so weak” “Everyone else can do this yoga pose, I see it on Instagram!” and that last point brings me nicely on to Instagram Fitness accounts. As I said earlier, I’m not coming for anyone here please do what you’re doing- I just don’t like being made to feel like I’m less for not working out and having a perfect diet? That may be my perception, as I’ve mentioned before I know that my perception of reality has been skewed a bit from years of Instagram voyeurism, but a part of me DOES still beat myself up when I see people’s #fitspo #mondaymotivation #transformationtuesdays hashtag after hashtag of bodies changing and wishing you looked another way. Maybe it’s jealousy? My own self confidence? I dont know yet, I have a very confused outlook but I know one things is for certain – all the hate I feel is immediately directed to myself. I am always always very quick to admire and big up others but just as quickly I’ll start picking apart my own body. I will look at all of these Instagram accounts and say: “damn she’s amazing!” “Wow, he’s worked so hard – so inspiring!” “She’s such a queen, BE MY FRIEND” but immediately that leads to comparison and not being so nice to myself.
However, this self love journey has lead me to start viewing things differently and bloody hell it’s already making such a difference to how I look at myself and fitness accounts. Let me sum up the changes:
- Look at fitness account
- Praise and appreciate the person’s choices/hard work/good attitude and so on.
- Accept that this person is different to you and you are not seeing the whole picture.
- Appreciate your own body for being perfectly fine as it is and think of the positive things it can do.
I try my best to remain positive and this is really helping!
I personally never post about my own exercise because it’s pretty occasional, it’s not a huge part of my life, (and my goals are teeny tiny in comparison to other people). This new attitude is working wonders for me and I now no longer run and think about other people’s times and distances – I just think about me! It’s so much more enjoyable and satisfying.
Let me know what you think, whether you agree with me or disagree. I love to hear about other people’s journey’s of self acceptance and I really appreciate any advice you have to help me along on my own journey.
Have a great day everyone!
– C x
Feautured image by the wonderful @jooleeloren